Pop linguistics: Part I

I had intended to write about neuroplasticity - but my brain book is lent out and not coming back any time soon. So instead, it's time for linguistics! This post is Our Magnificent Bastard Tongue by John McWhorter, and the next will be In the Land of Invented Languages by Arika Okrent. Full disclosure: I liked the latter better, but both are worthwhile.

OMBT is "the untold history of English"; McWhorter spends the book reminding us that English is NOT interesting simply because it steals vocabulary from other languages (every language does that), despite what the usual offerings on the subject of the history of English tell us. Instead, what is interesting about English is the grammar, which is chock full of rare features (do-questions: "Where does she shop?" instead of "Where shops she?"; progressive present: When asked, "What are you doing?" one replies "I'm reading" not, "I read"; no genders). McWhorter argues not only that the rare grammatical features are interesting but that the origins thereof have been suppressed or ignored by linguistic historians - they've been treated as ad-hoc aberrations, instead of hanging together.

Basically, the Celts were a much bigger deal to English grammar than the historians let on. McWhorter might agree with this sentiment, that circulates on internet linguistic circles: "English doesn't borrow from other languages. English follows other languages down dark alleys, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar." Grammar, mind you, not words. When it comes to taking vocabulary, every language is a rotten scoundrel.

McWhorter highlights this weirdness of English grammar by comparing it to the rest of its Germanic family. (Before the Normans invaded and smashed a layer of Latinate French on top, English was much more recognizably Germanic, with nice, short words like "chew" and "food" instead of "masticate" and "cuisine.") He writes, "English's Germanic relatives are like assorted varieties of deer - antlered, fleet-footed, big-brown-eyed variations on a theme. English is some dolphin swooping around under water, all but hairless, echolating and holding its breath. Dolphins are mammals like deer...But clearly, the dolphin has strayed from the basic mammalian game plan to an extent that no deer has." This is truly an evocative, and ridiculous, analogy.

He also does his best to disabuse the populace of its prescriptivist notions, which one must do almost without fail as a first step when talking about linguistics. Heck, that is essentially the entirety of LNGS 1010: "Everything You Thought You Knew About Grammar Is False." So in addition to explaining the ins-and-outs of English's historical developments, McWhorter also writes, "To a linguist, if I may share, these 'rules' [of schoolbook grammar] occupy the exact same space as the notion of astrology, alchemy, and medicine being based on the four humors."

All in all, interesting enough. I think the topics were more paper-length than book-worthy, but hey. Any book that compares English to a dolphin is alright by me.

xo,
Devo